Marriage, Love, and Family Structure

The marriage of Don Santiago and Doña Maria Petronilla is exemplary in demonstrating a very traditional and also common relationship that occurred even before the 19^th century, specifically in Mexican culture. In terms of tradition, it is evident that both Don Santiago is the dominating figure in the marriage. Through the argument between Don Santiago and Doña Dolores about “wife’s duty”, Doña Dolores feels very strongly about the topic of duty. She believes that “A wife has rights too” she even suggested that Doña Petronilla do not accept that the orders “come from only one pair of lips” (Gonzalez 25). Doña Dolores believed that Don Santiago was very disrespectful to his wife and also everyone else because he expected that everyone be respectful to him and his wishes. Yet, Doña Maria Petronilla felt that she could not do anything about that because Don Santiago had been like that all the 25 years that they had been married. In order to meet her husband’s dominance she had developed an “armor of meekness” which still did not protect her from shrinking under the “lash of his words” (Gonzalez 26).

The reason why marriages are so dominated by the male figure is because it is the tradition in the Mexican culture. Mothers teach their daughters to be meek and timid, obedient and dutiful wives. Fathers teach their sons to be powerful and be able to take over their property after they die. Fathers also teach their sons to successfully provide for their families and to maintain a high status and reputation of the family. In the case of Doña Maria Petronilla, her mother had taught her and given her the example of the perfect wife role in the home. Her mother had “implanted” in her that timid nature which forced her into being an obedient and dutiful wife that had no other choice but to accept this new personality.

In the case of Doña Petronilla and her daughter Susanita, she is trying to teach her the same marriage expectations and traditions that her mother taught her. In Susanita’s case she does not comply with those traditions because instead of being trained as a submissive wife as her mother wants her to be she falls in love. Love in marriage, as Doña Dolores believes, “love or have been loved, seemed impossible” (Gonzalez 38). Doña Dolores had the idea ingrained that “ones does not marry to have an ornament in the house.” Marriage is traditionally believed to be something that the parents had a decision over. When Susanita speaks of love, Don Santiago quickly says that “he would select a husband for Susanita and she would marry him” forcefully. “Love...other things were more important” Being “betrothed” was a very common among the Mexican culture and among the young people that lived in that period after the Mexican – American War it was evident that the young people were exposed to the ideas of love within marriage. This was seen as the Mexican youth saw how the Americans treated their wives like queens and actually treated them with respect. It was said that the “Americanos marry for love, and let their women ride a horse after marriage and give them things.” This is not the only way that love is referred to in marriage but love in another more explicit context refers to the act of love. With the example of Don Santiago and Doña Maria Petronilla, since they were not in love, they never had sex for pleasure or because they truly loved each other, instead Don Santiago had a mistress and Doña Maria Petronilla knew it but that was the norm in Mexican marriages. The young Mexicans had the idea that marriages developed out of love meant that making love after marriage as well.

Susanita, ironically enough, after she was warned by her father not to even think, look, or talk to the Americanos, she ends up falling in love with Robert Warrener. It seemed to be destiny and sure enough it was love at first sight. Their relationship is not traditional at all and therefore symbolizes the changes that occurred after the US – American War such as the assimilation of Mexicans into American culture and also to a change of more traditional ideas of modern ideas of marriage.

This in turn affected the family structure which no longer needed to be made of so many children such as the de Mendoza – Soria family. Marriage in the Mexican culture was meant to maintain ones status and to maintain ones traditions and culture and also personal property that have been passed on from generations.

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